Drowning

I’m drowning in guilt and fear. I don’t know what I’m going to do about my student loans. Take that back: I do know what I’m going to do. I’m going to pray that income-based repayment works. I’m going to work full-time in retail to pay for them. I’m going to pray my husband is understanding and not condemning of the fact that I will be under these loans for the rest of my life. And I’m going to pray that our future president(s) do something about this, because now, like the rest of this country, I’m buried under debt I didn’t, couldn’t understand. I went to college because I was supposed to. Because that was the path. That was what was supposed to happen to be successful and happy and to make money. I chose wrongly. I chose, and it wasn’t lucrative. I chose, and I was naive and idealistic. I chose and I’ll never make enough for it to be worth it, and I feel so guilty that I’ve exposed my husband to this. I feel so guilty that I’ve stuck us with this. And I don’t know how I’ll ever make up for it.

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